The Wise Mind, A New Way of Thinking
What is a wise mind? The wise mind is one that allows a blending of reason and emotion. The wise mind is developed. Most of us rely on one more than the other and must practice using both to tap into the freedom of the wise mind. Often, women are referred to as emotional thinkers. Acting on feeling with little regard to the facts. Men are characterized by rational thinking. They are fixers. They don’t care much for hearing about how something made them feel, they’ll rather answers for how not to feel that way.
So how do we use this wise mind? Why is it important? Use of the wise mind becomes easy with practice. Transitioning your way of thinking is important to all like changes. You cannot successfully step into a new role continuing to practice behaviors from the past. You use your wise mind by becoming aware of when you are letting either your emotions or rational mind make decisions without consideration of the other.
Here’s an example of how to use the wise mind. The decision of when to allow your teenager to start dating can be an emotional one because thinking about letting your little “butter-bean” grow up is hard. The flash of memories between when they were tiny and only needed you to know how it felt when your heart was first broken can lead you to make the emotional decision to not allow your teenager to date. The wise mind tells you to think about the dating more rationally. Focus on the reality of what dating means for your teenager as they begin to develop and grow into an adult.
It tells you that of course their need for you has decreased as they have grown older, but dating doesn’t change the fact that they will continue to need you less in some ways, but more in other ways. It tells you that, yes, their little hearts are going to be broken but didn’t you survive your first broken heart? Yes you did and they will too. So the wise mind tells us to prepare our teenager for dating by teaching them acceptable and unacceptable behaviors in relationships; Teaching them respect of self and others.
The wise mind says every time my friends don’t answer my calls is not proof that we aren’t really friends. It’s very likely that the friend has a life of their own just like you. And missing a call is normal. It’s just that missing a call.
Reliance on the wise mind is important because it takes us out of the place of feeling helpless. It allows us to consider our emotions in decision making in a healthy way. It teaches us to lead with rational thinking without forgetting our emotions. The wise mind tells us that even a thief can be reformed, but that it may not be a good idea to leave five crisp one hundred dollar bills unattended in their presence. It doesn’t ask us to treat the thief differently than any other person. It asks us to use all the information we have to make a reasonable decision about our current situation.
The transition to wise mind is not overnight. You will need to tune in to how you think. Then address how you make decisions and adjust the pendulum to a space equal between emotional and rational; this space is the wise mind. It’s where sound decision making skills are found.
The wise mind transitions individual thinking from that of victim to survivor. From loser to learner. When things don’t go our way we learn not lose; the wise mind knows this. Sometimes it’s just easier to float on emotion but it’s never best.